We are more than the body we carry
Why do we feel the need to comment on women's bodies?
Over the last couple of days, I have noticed a social media storm around Adele’s recent weight loss. I would be a liar if I told you that when I saw her I didn’t think "wow she looks good".
It gave me pause. Like why on earth is a picture of a suddenly slimmer woman more important than her message about the front line workers? I glazed over the message and concentrated on her body. I suddenly did not see her for the extremely accomplished and talented woman that she is and reduced her to her image.
My woo girls and I have been talking about body image a lot lately. The conversations are mostly to do with our age, how our metabolism is shifting, and how our mindsets are shifting with it.
My girl Lisa is doing a lot of work on her self image and sent me this quote - This is a goody...
‘When people say they want to lose weight, they often mean “I want to be respected. I want to be loved. I want to be seen. I want to be desired. I want liberation from self loathing."
This really hit me. Had all my body issues been wrapped up in my self-loathing and my desire to be seen and heard? I had to sit with this.
Was my initial reaction to Adele’s transformation one that reacted to the fact that she would somehow be more respected as the skinnier version of herself, even though she was respected and a powerhouse already? With over 9 million comments, she was somehow the most popular topic over any COVID post. Was she now seen and heard? I doubt it. Because really all that was happening was the world was somehow speaking about her body when she herself has not addressed the seemingly sudden change herself. The world was speaking for her. I think this happens for every woman, but perhaps not on such a public scale.
I still struggle with body issues my weight has always been on a sliding scale and always at the forefront of my attention and I am sure it has everything to do with my background as an actor. My thinking was that I would never be able to do the thing I love (acting) if I was not a desirable image. An entirely unattainable norm. It wasn’t until I started weight training (post babies) when I stopped weighing myself as much because I somehow felt powerful and not powerless.
I have so many emotions wrapped up in my body image but I was truly shocked by my immediate reaction to some else’s. Clearly I still have a ton of work to do.
We need to stop attaching women's bodies to how important they are in the world. It’s a reckless process and we are so much more than the body we carry.